karen's katechism on autism and life

"Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning 
if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along 
with patience and equanimity."
~Carl Jung

how do you handle the repetitive requests, questions, even statements made by your child with autism? lets see if we have a similarity in how we react and handle our kids interesting behavior!

autism is a very funny bird and has many, many faces. how we react to those faces is also as varied as the stars in the sky! a quiet, calm voice is key even in the most tumultuous meltdown. even our body language needs to reflect comforting, safeness, calming to our kids. the meltdown constitutes that our kids have reached their limit, their basic abilities to cope have broken, they are saying enough is enough.

we need to help bring them back to a place where they will be able to listen, give even one word responses, respond to their picture page, book, strip… the chaos of the environment needs to calm, we have control over this, our kids respond to that which they perceive is happening… it is a hard, difficult process… most important we need to be able to understand what our kids want, or are trying to say, what they need, we need to lessen their frustration.

afterwards we should look back and see what caused say, Korey’s meltdown, what happened, what might have been said, what did he see, looking for any word, sight, smell, whatever, that pushed him over the edge. could be he said a word completely expecting to be understood and we do not understand at all!!! frustration levels then increase on all of us!

we know the behavior or uproar or screaming has occurred, when we know what may have, as we dont always get down to the specific nitty gritty, caused the meltdown, we can then work on, in play time or during homework,  in social stories or just kinda talking during a walk around the house or the neighborhood, how we can avoid having that situation jump in our lives in the future. it maybe just a evaluation with others of what actions need to be done or things to try and avoid, sometimes I just talk to myself! and see what I can do to help avoid the meltdown triggers. thinking out of the box is usually the best route, keeps our kids not expecting the usual! routine can be safe but is not what life in the outside world is all about!

when enough is enough then we better put our thinking caps on and think of ways to help our kids adjust to whatever the situation is so that the world does not become something only viewed through locke windows.

this morning has been a non stop demanding of soda, he has not deviated from asking for soda, well, he did, to ask to go to the bathroom (we figured this is a request for school, after repeatedly telling Korey to just go to the bathroom!!) so we practiced again, raise your hand and say “may I go to the bathroom please?”  and without skipping a beat or stopping to catch his breathe, he was back to asking for soda! the time between each demand did get longer  as long as he heard the key words “soda, buy, store, drink, after school”.

and that is key with Korey and other kids like him who are right sided brain users. he responds best to the “FIRST, _______, THEN ________.  And gradually the obsessiveness lessens but does not completely disappear! I don’t think he enjoys the constant need to repeatedly ask the same thing over and over. his limited use of words or ability to pronounce them correctly, frustrates him greatly. but that will be for another time…

the bus just left, i am heading for a nap!!

i am probably be silly in thinking that Korey may actually sleep all night!! so far, he has been sleeping since 7:30p, hoping he sleeps at least 8 hours!! sooo, i have to get myself to sleep or at least relaxing enough to gradually fall asleep   so the answer to this question is yes it can evolve into a night of sleeping!!

in a word, NO!

in a few words, it is worth trying, at least you wil off your feet for awhile!!

have been up since 1a as Korey , my 19 year old son who lives with autism, decided it was time to fling his backpacks, old and new, over his shoulder and scream into a sleeping home that “bus, school, ride” were to be immediately provided  for him. for the next 6 1/2 hours, until he physically got on his school bus, we played out a scenario fit for a Broadway play or  the day room of a psych center (not being disrespectful in any sense of the word psych here-but is was crazy!!!!!) locking door, closing/opening door constantly, screaming, by him, i tried my damnest to keep a quiet, soothing voice so that perhaps, just maybe he would pay attention to a least every other word i was saying!! bribing the dog with black licorice, having me repetitively speak the bus mantra “bus comes a t 7:20, goes beep beep where’s Korey Korey gets on the bus goes to school yeh!” if one word is misspoke or omitted the usual 10 minute reprieve in choruses is reduced  to 10 seconds and we go on…

thought social stories on sleeping at night, that cats usually only roam the earth at night or when it is dark, were over! wrong!!

now have to retreat to my bag or book of goodies and see what we , I, can conjure up to have Korey understand again, that the answer to what do we do at night, especially on a school night is SLEEP!

and that is what I am going to do now, at least for 15 minutes!!! see you for the next question!!

here we go…